I Should Be Sleeping But....

It's been an incredibly busy week. We've had (can cancelled a few due to extreme fog) several doctors. I've been downloading, burning, playing and burning again CD's for my friend's wedding that is taking place tomorrow.

And, while I should in bed right now trying to catch some sleep because I need to leave early, three small ones in tow, to get to the wedding early to help her get ready, I'm here, listening to my final version of the CD to make sure that it's ready. So far, no skips. We're all good.

There's another reason I'm here though. I thought you'd like to hear about my embarrassing mommy moment of the day. Also, my worst mommy moment EVER.

Since we have a wedding to attend tomorrow, I needed to head to the mall to pick up an outfit for myself and for Claire. Neither of us and anything business casual. I mean, I've been a SAHM for the past 2 years. My business casual consists of beat up shirts and some jeans that I don't mind getting ratty while I'm trying to pick goldfish crumbs out of my carpet while telling Claire and Grayson to quit jumping/crawling/walking/"driving" cars over them to make it worse.

A trip to the mall for us is not easy feat. It's a literally day long excursion because we live about an hour and a half from any mall. We hit the mall and I begin my shopping. I try shopping for myself, but quickly become frustrated because everything I like does not fit. I decide I am no longer on speaking terms with myself and vow to go on a diet. I decide to shop for the tiny diva. I don't find much of anything because I guess this spring's style is "dress your kid like crap". I've found very little I like this year for her in terms of spring/summer wear. Most of her outfits are last years clearance picks. David decides we should head to TJ Maxx. I agree. We start heading through sears. He says he needs to go the bathroom, so I gather all of our things. We start walking towards the exit..And then it happens.

I'm carrying Grayson with both arms when I notice something warm running down my arm. I think, "Great, he had a diaper leak." I then feel it running down my hand and then I think, "Oh DEAR GOD...OH LORD....IT'S POOP!!!" And then I move my hand and there is poop everywhere. I freeze next to a washer. I see Sear's employees going about their business not paying me any notice. And then I look down just in time to see a plop of poo fall to the ground and then my brain starts wooshing and my heart starts pumping and there is an alarm in my head blaring "CODE BROWN SITUATION GET THE "F" OUT!!!" I back up slowly, poo plop still on ground and make a run for the bathroom, Clarie running beside me. I run into David as he's walking through the tools. I tell him I need immediate help. He reached for Grayson and I say, "STOP!" and hold up my poop hand. He backs away, completely grossed out. I say, "Yeah, your grossed out. I have crap all over my arm and hand."

We head to the changing station. He hold Grayson on the changing table while I wash my hand and arm. That's when I notice Grayson crapped on everything. It's on his jacket, Claire's jacket and it's all over his clothes. I dig into the diaper bag to get what I need to change his clothes to discover that I forgot to pack a backup set of clothes. While I change Grayson, David buys Grayson a new outfit and Clarie a new sweater because thankfully, it was quite nice out. Sears was also having a great clearance sale.

After everyone was cleaned up and ready to go, we headed back in the direction we came so I could quickly and quietly clean up the poop plop, but as we rounded the corner, there was a few employees standing around it trying to figure it out. Way to embarrassed to say anything, I ducked behind some washers and got the hell out of that store.

So to Sears, I am so sorry my child had a blow out and left a quarter sized poop plop on your floor. It wasn't huge, but it was still awful I'm still sorry and completely embarrassed by the entire situation.

Lesson I learned? DO NOT leave home without back up clothing. EVER. This has never happened to me, and I usually have a spare outfit. This time I did not.