30 Days Of Blogging: Day 2

Topic for day 2: The Meaning Behind Your Blog Name

This blog is pretty much about my family, with bits of Shaq Loving Grandma and other random information that I think is pretty funny.

So, my kids are growing up. Our last name is Townsend. Everyone has a parenting style all their own. So, our kids are growing up, Townsend style.

I'm not really sure what prompted me to title my blog that. I think I was just staring at the blank title box, wracking my brain. All I could think about was growing up. Ethan, growing up. Clarie, just starting out on growing up (she was only a few months old when this blog was started). Grayson, growing in my belly and growing up, because he was on his way when I really picked things up here and I've blogged well past his first birthday....Sad sigh here....

So, there you have it. Why I named my blog what I did.

30 Days Of Blogging: Day 1

I've decided to do 30 Days Of Blogging because I'm kind of in a lull here. I guess nothing can topped being crapped on in Sears. Who knew?

So, Day 1: A recent picture of yourself and 15 interesting facts.

So, about that recent pictures....HAHAHAHA!!! Yeah, right, that's not gonna happen. I'm much happier behind the camera than in front of it. So, here's a picture from a long time ago instead!

And, here's the 15 facts!

1) I have naturally curly hair. I hate it. I don't know what to do with it. My hair is ALWAYS up, and I'm getting bored with that style.

2) I'm trying to teach myself to apply make-up. Yes, I am 27 and I don't know how to wear make-up.

3) I am probably one of the clumsiest people you will ever meet, and I announce it. Like, I trip in front of people and then I say, "Just in case you missed it, that was me almost falling."

4) I've started working out and eating in moderation. Jillian Michaels has handed my ass to me on several occasions this week.

5) In the process of working out, I've learned that a 2 year old with think that sitting on your back when you are trying to do push-ups is the best thing EVER.

6) I haven't been to Arizona to visit since January of 2008 and I'm feeling a little homesick.

7) I daydream ways to tell my dad off for being, well, a shit father.

8) I've recently become so obsessed with coupons that I think David might try and commit me.

9) I love my kindle. I love actual books. I have the best of both worlds.

10) David is actually picking out some great decorations for the house. Now if he'd just let me paint.

11) My SIL is expecting a baby boy in May. I'm so EXCITED!!

12) My house is overflowing with baby things I no longer need, and it makes me sad to think about never using it again.

13) I also have a bag full of maternity clothes that I can't bear to part with.

14) As sad as these things make me, my uterus is closed for business.

15) I believe in ghosts. I am all about ghosts.

Three Kids And A Solo Parent Make For An Interesting Wedding

On Saturday my friend, Jamie, got married. On Saturday, I packed three kids in the car and took a 3 hour car ride (6 hours round trip) to attend her wedding. I was honored to be one of very few friends that was invited to attend. What made the day even more interesting? I attended the wedding....Solo. That's right. Me. Three kids. Six hours in a car. Eight hours helping my friend get ready and attending the wedding. And here's the craziness that ensued.

At 9AM, I headed out. The ride was smooth, except when I got to Onamia. When I hit Onamia, I got lost. I headed 3 miles out of my way, made a U-turn and headed back. Claire and Grayson were getting antsy, except Claire's antsy is whining and Ethan's is, "Mom, are we there yet? Are we near it yet? When can I get out? Are you sure we aren't there yet? How much longer? Mooooooom....."

At noon, I finally pulled into the driveway and unloaded three kids. Now, Claire has an issue with strange places. She doesn't like them. She cries. A lot. And loud. So, as soon as we walked in the door, she started screaming. Of course, when she cried, Grayson did too. Jamie's mom sent me upstairs and helped Claire take off her jacket and shoes. I came down to drag her upstairs and give her the iPod to calm her down. After 10 minutes, she was happy. I was able to dress her and get her hair done. Then I dressed Grayson. Then everyone was happy.

At 4:30 the wedding was underway, only Claire didn't want any part of it. I walked downstairs to try and sit with the kids, but Claire immediately got on the floor and started rolling around on what was going to be the aisle. I picked her up and she immediately screamed. Time to head back upstairs. We ended up watching the wedding from the balcony so my kids (Ethan aside) wouldn't make a scene. Clarie and Grayson happily played and practiced walking (Grayson) during the ceremony. Then, it was time for dinner.

We walked into the room, and what first caught my eye was the wine glasses full of water. I had a mini heart attack. Claire's eyes grew wide with excitement. Then she tried to drink from one. I tried to show her how to hold it with two hands, but she didn't want any of that. She grabbed it from the stem, and it started to tip and breaking glass flashed before my eyes. I grabbed the glass and set it down. The man sitting across from us grabbed it and slipped it away. I breathed a sigh of relief and a thank you to him. Then I breathed an even bigger sigh of relief when they gave Claire a plastic wine glass full of sparkling pear juice. Yes, there are small miracles. Then, someone lit the candles on our table. Four of them to be exact. Clarie blew them all out and shouted "Happy birthday! Yay!" every time. Dinner was served and Grayson showed me that I look great in cranberries and a little bit of stuffing.

Ethan was pretty easy. He played with his friend, Eliza (Jamie's daughter), the entire night. When Claire was done with her dinner and I was still trying to feed Grayson, he played with her so I could finish. He was such a help, and I'm so proud of him for that.

The ride home was fairly uneventful. Everyone slept and I did not get lost.

Lesson learned? Attending a wedding solo with two toddlers is not ideal, but when your best friend gets married, suck it up. It will also make you very tired, but Clarie will be energized from her 3 hour nap and want to play when you walk in the door. This is also not ideal.

Aside from all the craziness with the small ones, the wedding was beautiful. They showed a great video of Jamie and Bennett. Jamie looked beautiful in her dress. Everyone was so happy. They are going to have a wonderful life together.

I Should Be Sleeping But....

It's been an incredibly busy week. We've had (can cancelled a few due to extreme fog) several doctors. I've been downloading, burning, playing and burning again CD's for my friend's wedding that is taking place tomorrow.

And, while I should in bed right now trying to catch some sleep because I need to leave early, three small ones in tow, to get to the wedding early to help her get ready, I'm here, listening to my final version of the CD to make sure that it's ready. So far, no skips. We're all good.

There's another reason I'm here though. I thought you'd like to hear about my embarrassing mommy moment of the day. Also, my worst mommy moment EVER.

Since we have a wedding to attend tomorrow, I needed to head to the mall to pick up an outfit for myself and for Claire. Neither of us and anything business casual. I mean, I've been a SAHM for the past 2 years. My business casual consists of beat up shirts and some jeans that I don't mind getting ratty while I'm trying to pick goldfish crumbs out of my carpet while telling Claire and Grayson to quit jumping/crawling/walking/"driving" cars over them to make it worse.

A trip to the mall for us is not easy feat. It's a literally day long excursion because we live about an hour and a half from any mall. We hit the mall and I begin my shopping. I try shopping for myself, but quickly become frustrated because everything I like does not fit. I decide I am no longer on speaking terms with myself and vow to go on a diet. I decide to shop for the tiny diva. I don't find much of anything because I guess this spring's style is "dress your kid like crap". I've found very little I like this year for her in terms of spring/summer wear. Most of her outfits are last years clearance picks. David decides we should head to TJ Maxx. I agree. We start heading through sears. He says he needs to go the bathroom, so I gather all of our things. We start walking towards the exit..And then it happens.

I'm carrying Grayson with both arms when I notice something warm running down my arm. I think, "Great, he had a diaper leak." I then feel it running down my hand and then I think, "Oh DEAR GOD...OH LORD....IT'S POOP!!!" And then I move my hand and there is poop everywhere. I freeze next to a washer. I see Sear's employees going about their business not paying me any notice. And then I look down just in time to see a plop of poo fall to the ground and then my brain starts wooshing and my heart starts pumping and there is an alarm in my head blaring "CODE BROWN SITUATION GET THE "F" OUT!!!" I back up slowly, poo plop still on ground and make a run for the bathroom, Clarie running beside me. I run into David as he's walking through the tools. I tell him I need immediate help. He reached for Grayson and I say, "STOP!" and hold up my poop hand. He backs away, completely grossed out. I say, "Yeah, your grossed out. I have crap all over my arm and hand."

We head to the changing station. He hold Grayson on the changing table while I wash my hand and arm. That's when I notice Grayson crapped on everything. It's on his jacket, Claire's jacket and it's all over his clothes. I dig into the diaper bag to get what I need to change his clothes to discover that I forgot to pack a backup set of clothes. While I change Grayson, David buys Grayson a new outfit and Clarie a new sweater because thankfully, it was quite nice out. Sears was also having a great clearance sale.

After everyone was cleaned up and ready to go, we headed back in the direction we came so I could quickly and quietly clean up the poop plop, but as we rounded the corner, there was a few employees standing around it trying to figure it out. Way to embarrassed to say anything, I ducked behind some washers and got the hell out of that store.

So to Sears, I am so sorry my child had a blow out and left a quarter sized poop plop on your floor. It wasn't huge, but it was still awful I'm still sorry and completely embarrassed by the entire situation.

Lesson I learned? DO NOT leave home without back up clothing. EVER. This has never happened to me, and I usually have a spare outfit. This time I did not.

Winner!

We have a winner for the Custom AIO Cloth Diaper from Etsy store Mommyx3 Monster's. There were 58 entries, and random.org chose....

The winner is whocg23. Congrats. You have been e-mailed with all the details!

Thanks so much for entering everyone!

Writer's Workshop: I Don't Like Vampires

Writer's Workshop Thursday! YAY!

Today I chose the prompt A Lecture You Still Remember.

When you're a teenager, you have boyfriends. Sometimes, they give you marks. On your neck. In plain view where Shaq Loving Grandma can see them. And this is how the most embarrassing lecture EVER was born.

One day, as I was getting ready to leave my house for school, Shaq Loving Grandma noticed a fresh "mark" on me. It was like the scene in Coneheads where Dan Akroyd see's the tattoo on teenage Conehead and was all "Ehhhh....WTF?!" Except Shaq Loving Grandma isn't the kind to hold back an F-Bomb. She then proceeded to grill me on the nature of this "damn thing on your neck!"

After a good 10 minutes of 20 questions, I ran out of the house, grateful for the safety of school and not having to listen to Shaq Loving Grandma. When I got home, she was asleep in her chair. I quietly walked past her, grabbed the cordless phone from it's cradle and made a beeline down the hall and into my room, where I locked myself in. I dialed a friend and started talking about how crazy Shaq Loving Grandma had been that morning. Little did I know, it was about to get worse.

You see, while I was on the phone, the giver of the mark showed up to take me out. Shaq Loving Grandma didn't think I was home, so she invited giver of the mark to take a seat, and then proceeded to lecture him on the "dangers" of leaving such marks on someone. I guess about 15 minutes into this talk, I got thirsty, so I headed out, phone still glued to ear, to get some water from the fridge. I walked down the hall only to be met by the eyes of giver of the mark and Shaq Loving Grandma. I looked to him, to her and back. I said into the phone, "Uh, I gotta go." I hung up. I walked casually to the fridge, grabbed a glass. Poured myself some water. Went and stood next to Shaq Loving Grandma's chair. Just as I took a sip of water she said to giver of the mark, "Listen, I don't like vampires. They are dangerous. Leave my granddaughter's neck alone, OK Dracula?"

I choked on my water. Giver of the mark looked like he wanted to laugh, but he didn't want to piss off Shaq Loving Grandma. Shaq Loving Grandma told us kids to go have a good time. We got the heck outta there.

So, there is a lesson in this. Nothing gets by Shaq Loving Grandma.....NOTHING.....

One Step, Two Step, Three Step...More?

Grayson did it. He took his first steps!

Last night I stood him up arms length away, and said, "Come on baby!" His little foot raised, he wobbled a little, he steadied himself, and then he went, giggling all the way into my arms. I was so excited! And then I got a little sad. He's well on his way to really not being a baby anymore. I don't know if I like that. I miss having a newborn. The little cry. The sweet smell. The late night nursing sessions where it's just me and him.

Now he's well on his way to walking, and I can see the hours of chasing him and Claire as they run away from me in opposite directions. Can't wait.

This is fun too though. Watching him grow. Watching him discover things for the first time, like the inside of my fridge.

Yeah, it's pretty much been Fridge Wars: 2011 around here. Claire learned how to open to the fridge. She doesn't go for anything in particular. She just stands there, staring. Then Grayson wandered over. It was cute to watch them at first, but then it just got plain annoying. I finally had my breaking point a couple of weeks ago when Claire got into the fridge after I put away the groceries and Grayson got into the new eggs and promptly broke three of them on the floor.**sigh**I decided to try taping the fridge shut. It worked!...For a day. Then Claire learned that all she had to do was run her hand along the side of the fridge until she felt the edge of the tape and then rip it off.

David and I searched high and low for a fridge lock, only finding one last week. Apparently, they're in high demand. I ended up finding it at Wal-Mart, and it was the last one they had. It instantly became mine. I came home from grocery shopping, giddy about getting it onto the fridge. The next day, after the adhesive dried, I found out that it worked quite well when Claire came bounding into the kitchen demanding to "see cheese" and tried to fling open the fridge door only to be met with her new nemesis...Safety First and the Fridge Lock of Townsend House. She was not happy. Me? I couldn't have been happier.

Writer's Workshop: Apparently, I Can't Be Jewish

Writer's Workshop. If you've been reading long enough, you know the drill.

Today's Prompt? You're not always right....No, you're not....No, you're not....No, you're not....Tell us about a time you were wrong.

It's the night before Easter Sunday in 2004. My brother is visiting David and I for the weekend, and I my brother and I have made plans to visit my aunt and uncle in the morning. We're all watching TV, talking and laughing.

I start cleaning or reading or doing some kind of task that ends in ing....I'm not really sure.

David starts heading upstairs to find something, and asks what my aunt and uncle are planning to do tomorrow. Not really paying attention, I say, "I don't know..Have Easter dinner?"

David's head pops around the wall. He gives me a blank stare. He says, "Jewish people do not celebrate Easter." My brother, totally ready for a show because, let's face, I'm too stubborn to back down, straightens up on the couch.

I say, "Yeah...Yeah they do. They celebrate Easter. I bet you." David says, "No, they don't.
"Yes, they do." "No, they don't." "Yes, they.....Wait, do they?" I look at Justin. He shakes his head. I look at David. He shakes his head. Then the light bulb goes off...."Oh...They don't. It's passover."

David starts upstairs again. Then he backs up and says, "Oh, Chantel, don't forget to take them that picture of Jesus you got them." Then he ran up the stairs laughing while my brother pretty much died on the couch behind me.

The next day when I told my aunt and uncle the story, my aunt laughed until she cried, and then she laughed some more. My uncle did the same.

Yup...I don't think I can be Jewish.

And Then The Teacher Said Something That Horrified Me

Last Monday, we had Parent/Teacher Conferences. We decided that I would go while David stayed home with the 3 small ones because the conference was scheduled for pretty much right after school, and everyone is snack crazy around that time. I grabbed my things and headed out the door, hoping to hear good things.

I got to the school and headed into Ethan's classroom. We discussed Ethan's hatred of math. We discussed his love of reading and how impressed his teacher was with it. And, it happened, as eventually happens in the these things.....The cons.

But this time, the cons were CONS.

She said that Ethan has a problem with bursting out and screaming, "That's not fair! I hate work! I'm not doing it." And then she told me this little story.

At school one day, in the lunch line, a teacher (who happens to know David and whose daughter David went to school with) noticed that Ethan's shoe was untied. She asked Ethan to step out of the line, just for a second, and tie his shoe. Ethan ignored her. She asked again, and Ethan yelled, "No, I don't want to." She then noticed Ethan didn't have his napkin and utensils that he's supposed to have before he gets in line. She then told Ethan that he would have to go to the back of the line for his attitude and because he did not have what he needed. He groaned and yelled, "Not fair!" loudly and STOMPED to the back of the line, where he promptly jumped line in front of two teachers. They said to him, "No, Ethan, you need to go to the very end of the line." Ethan turned around and said, "But I'm hungry." They said to him, "Well, we're hungry too." Ethan stood defiantly and yelled, "But I'm hungrier!"

That is where the story ended. And then his teacher looked at me and said, "I hate to tell you this, but he has been horrible this year. His outbursts are out of control. Do you let him get away with this at home?" I looked at her in the eyes and said, "Absolutely not. I can tell you with 100% certainty that he DOES NOT get away with this kind of behavior at home."

I was mortified that she said he has been horrible. I was beyond humiliated. There are not enough words. We have taught Ethan nothing but respect. Please, thank you, excuse me. I don't know where this boy came from, but it certainly wasn't learned in this home from me.

As punishment for his rude behavior, Ethan was not allowed to go to Target and choose toys with the $30 he's been saving. He had to write and apology letter to the teachers he was rude to. This week, instead of enjoying the school lunch that he enjoys so much, he is taking a home prepared lunch. We hear his behavior has been much better, and I'm hoping it continues, as I much prefer hearing good things about my child.