Dear Ethan

Dear Ethan,

The 28th was your 9th birthday. Nine years ago, you were placed in my arms after 13 hours of labor that I remember so well, it feels like you were just born. You were stubborn in your arrival, which reminds me of your attitude today. It took 2 1/2 hours of pushing and 2 vacuums (the first one broke you were so insistent on staying in) to get you here. And then, there you were. This wonderful little boy. The love I felt for you in that moment and now is..Well, can't be put into words.

In the past year, you've completed third grade, grown in leaps in bounds and have become such a compassionate and happy little boy. This is your last year as a single digit age. Next year, we move to double digits, and I'm not happy about it.

You've also become super handsome. Sometimes, you're attitude is not as handsome, but you correct yourself.

This year you got up early and opened presents.

Afterwards, I made you a breakfast of pancakes and bacon. You're brother and sister were very happy about this.

Then I made you're cake. You requested Darth Vader. Darth Vader turned into an alien, because apparently, I'm not very good at Darth Vader. I'll work on it though.

We sang happy birthday.

And you made a wish (or wishes) that I hope come true for you.

Welcome to year nine my handsome little man. I hope it brings everything you want.

Love,

Mom

Slim Fast And Jillian Michael's, I Am Your Slave

I slacked off on my diet. Pizza was just too tempting. Cupcakes were calling my name. But one night as I was getting ready for bed, I was reminded of why I started this journey in the first place. I want to be happy with myself and my body and I want to set a good, healthy example for my small ones. So, it begins.

Last week, I jumped on the wagon. David and I went out, and he bought a bathroom scale. That night, I stepped on it. It said 160. Before I got pregnant with Ethan, I bounced around between 120 and 125 pounds. Those five pounds really never meant much to me. I ate what I wanted. I didn't exercise much. My clothing sizes never changed. But, let's face it. Before I got pregnant with Ethan, I was an 18 year old girl with no baby and a metabolism that could handle it. My exercise was walking everywhere with friends and having a damn good time doing it. Fast forward a year and now I'm 19, holding a newborn and I drive everywhere because, let's face it, this is (was) Arizona and I wasn't going to be walking my newborn down the street in 120 degree heat. I was too tired to exercise and too poor for a gym membership that included free child care. Most of my time was spent looking for a job, working at a job or taking care of Ethan. Most days, convenience foods (Hello McDonald's) were just easier for my brain to process instead of measuring and pouring and stirring. Why do that when someone will bring a pizza to my door? My weight went up.

When I was working at the Target distribution center, I literally walked all night long. Twelve hours every night. I lost a good amount of weight. I started eating better and taking better care of myself. We moved to Wisconsin. I managed to keep myself in good shape. Then I got pregnant with Claire. Then a year later, Grayson came along. I am nowhere near as heavy as I was after Ethan, but I still don't feel as though I'm healthy. I catch glimpses of myself and know I could have a healthier body, which means a healthier body image and me being happier with myself. And I deserve that.

So, last week, after the weigh in, I bought some Slim Fast. Let me tell you, Slim Fast is really not the best tasting drink in the world, but it does fill me up. I have my sensible dinners. Once a week on Monday's David brings home something for dinner. It might be a little less sensible that what I make, but I allow myself to eat some of it. But, here's where I kick it up a notch.

Jillian Michael's has the 30 Day Shred. It claims you can lose 20 pounds in 30 days. I don't know how true that is, but I'm willing to give it a shot. Once a week, I'll post my results. So far, just with the Slim Fast and some walking, I've lost 3 1/2 pounds. My goal is to go from 160 to 125, which I think is a healthy weight for someone of my age and height (5' 3"). Today is day one on level one of the shred. My workouts will start when Grayson naps. Which will also be nice because then I can take a shower afterwards.

Wish me luck. I think I might need it!

Writer's Workshop: The Windows Have Eyes

Writer's Workshop Day! YAY!!!

Today I chose the prompt The Police said it best when they said, “Every breath you take/And every move you make/Every bond you break, every step you take/I’ll be watching you”. Write about a time you believed someone was watching you.

Before we ever moved to Wisconsin, we made yearly visits to see David's family. We made one of those visits in the fall of 2004 for an event that David's sister was hosting. I came out a week earlier than David with my MIL. It was just after Ethan's birthday and the family wanted to spoil him a little. This I had no problem with. Ethan and I spent the week with my SIL, visiting my FIL and generally having a good time.

The day David got in, we packed up our things at my SIL's house and came to stay with my FIL. It had been a very long day, so we got Ethan into bed, and David proceeded to try on the outfit he was wearing to the event. He went to the bathroom to make sure he was tying his tie right while I changed into my pajamas. As I bent down to fix my sock, I stumbled to the left and hit the light switch with my shoulder and accidentally turned the light off. And that's when I saw it. The shadow of a head right outside our window. I turned the light on, looked around and turned it off. It was still there. I turned the light on just as David came back into the room. I told him, quietly so in case there was someone outside the window they wouldn't hear me and run, that there was someone outside the window. David laughed at me and told me, "Ha..This is Wisconsin, not Arizona. Things like that don't happen here" Then he turned the light off and told me it was probably my big head. Then he saw it move when I didn't. He quietly slipped out of the room, to the back door, and opened it to see a guy standing next to an outdoor chair looking in the window at me. He yelled, "Hey fucker!" and disappeared into the night because the man ran. He eventually caught him by tackling him and brought him back to the house.

I went to my FIL's door and told him that David had just chased a man that had been looking through our window. He came out and called the cops. Now, David's dad used to be a Phoenix police officer. After he got off the phone with the police, he grabbed a pen, a small notebook and a maglight and went into the yard. He shone the light in the mans face and asked for ID. This is when the man started telling us that he was drunk and had been walking in the street and the streetlight had cast his shadow on our window. However, David caught him looking in the window. It took over an hour for police to arrive and arrest him, so we had to hear this over and over again.

Once police arrived, we had to give statements. They told us that he had said the same thing, but they knew what he was doing. Then they told us that all they could do was charge him with disturbing the peace because Wisconsin has no law against Peeping Toms. This I was not thrilled with, at all. A few months later we learned he received probation and we got a letter in the mail that told us he was sorry for disturbing the peace at our home.

It hasn't happened since, and I hope it never happens again.

Potty Training 911 (Poop Warning...But No Pictures So You're Welcome)

I've come to a conclusion after a year of fighting with Claire. It's an official diagnosis really. She hates the potty. Loathes the potty? Maybe.

We went to Target last week, and I found two things that I was sure would make her excited and want to use the potty. Yo Gabba Gabba underpants. Rapunzel underpants. She's pretty much obsessed with all things Tangled at the moment. I showed them to her and her face lit up like a Christmas tree. I couldn't wait!

The next day, she got up for the day, had her breakfast, and picked out her pair of big girl pants. I was like, "Oh..My..Gosh!! This is going to happen. No more diapers for Claire" (Insert squeals of delight here.) So, what happened? She wore the underpants all day long. She took 4 trips to the potty. She did not once pee on the potty or poop in the potty. She did not once pee or poop in her underpants. I put her diaper on for bed, and she let it all go. I had to change her diaper after I put Grayson in his crib. Yes, she literally held it ALL DAY LONG.

The next day, she got up for the day, had her breakfast, and picked out her pair of big girl pants. I wasn't as ecstatic as the day before. This morning, when I offered her the underpants, she looked at me and said, "No mommy. Diapers." I said, "No Claire. Today, we wear big girl pants." She wasn't happy about this, and ran away. "Fine," I thought, "You can be naked." I mean, what could possibly happen while she's naked. I'll be able to catch her and take her to the potty every 30 minutes. I set the oven timer and kept an eye on her.

Well, my watching obviously wasn't close enough, because in that 30 minutes that I set the time, she pooped...On the floor. Yeah...I said that. ON THE FLOOR. Thankfully, it was easy to clean up. However, I really didn't enjoy doing it.

So, here I am. She wears the big girl underpants for at least 3-4 hours a day right now. I plan to bump it up an hour at a time each week. She has had not one single accident in the big girl pants, but she has yet to use the potty. She prefers the diaper, and I prefer it not being on my floor.

I need help...Potty training SUCKS!

He Grew It Himself

Every year, Ethan plants flowers at school. They've never survived. Hands smaller than his own manage to get to them and into the trash they go.

This year, however, they blossomed nicely on the sill of the kitchen window.

Claire enjoyed smelling them whenever I took them off the sill to water them. Ethan was excited to see them bloom...Finally.

However, they only lasted about a month. The milk carton planter proved to be too small for the long roots. Next year, however, I'll be ready. I'll buy a proper pot for them to grow and flourish in.