Just Sayin'

Recently I read an article about a mother who was removed as a den mother in Ohio because she's gay.  And the comments on the article shocked me.  One in particular was about how sad it was for the boy to grow up with a mother who wanted to be a man.  It was actually much more callously put, but I'd rather not repeat it.

So, here I am, to tell my story.

When I was 10, my brother and I were removed from my mother's care.  The extreme details as to why are not important, but suffice to say, the situation we were in was not safe, but my mother is healthy, and happy now, and my brother and I have a very close and loving relationship with her.  At the time, my father was asked to take custody of us, but he and his new wife said that they didn't want us, so my grandmother (Shaq Lovin' Grandma) came to the table and said she would take us.

She signed us up for Boy Scouts and Girl Scouts.  She chaperoned field trips.  She took us shopping.  She oversaw slumber parties and tried to explain basketball to no avail.  When my brother was 10 and I was 12, he moved in with my paternal grandparents.  I stayed with my grandma.

Sure, it sounds like any normal family, except for the fact that my grandma lived with and loved a woman.  When we first moved in, she was in a very committed and long term relationship with her partner, and she and her partner accepted us into their fold.  When my brother left our home, they quietly broke up, just like other couples do.

I grew up and my grandma met boyfriends.  She took me shopping for dresses for dances, chaperoned dates, gave rides to the mall, helped mend broken hearts and loved me for me.  She showed up at every school event I ever had.  I never once felt like I didn't get my fair shake in the world.  I learned how to do my makeup, I learned how to do my hair, I never felt like I missed out on having a father, because mine gave up on me when I needed him.

The only difference I had growing up was that my grandmother dated women.  I watched women pick her up for dates and I watched her get ready to pick up other women for dates.  I met very few of her dates because just like any single parent, she was protective of me and who I saw coming to the home if they weren't long term partners.

Today, I am a very happy 29 year old woman with a family of my own, and I owe a large part of that to my grandma.  If she hadn't spoken up and taken me, who knows where I would be today.