Controlled Crying: Days 1 and 2

I couldn't take it anymore. The No Cry Sleep Solution did not work for us. I just couldn't keep revising and trying and revising and calming and revising...We needed sleep.

For Christmas, Grayson received a seahorse that plays ocean noise and soft lullabies as well as a Fisher Price Precious Planets crib soother. I set them up yesterday afternoon in his crib. In my mind, I set the start date for Monday. I congratulated myself on taking the step to set everything up and marking my date in my mind. Go me...

Fast forward to last night. Bedtime. At 8PM, Grayson and I head to bed for our regular nurse session. He falls asleep, but immediately wakes up and begins to cry when I try and get him settled. I know he is tired. I can see it on his face. I stand. I bounce. I shush. I look at his face. Then, I just made the decision, right then, right there, to do it. We both need it. I kiss his face. I calm him. Then I lay him down, turn on his music, and leave the room.

I am not going to lie, it was hell to sit in the living room and listen to him cry. Every bone in my body wanted to get up and run to him. I wanted to nurse him to sleep and I wanted everything to fine, but I knew he was full, he was dry and he was warm. He had his blanket that smells like me that he loves. So I sat. Ten minutes later, he was still crying and my gut was clenching and I was filled with guilt. Was this really right? Should I go get him? Will my presence make him cry harder? David got up and went to calm him. Ten minutes later, Grayson was fast asleep. After 20 minutes, he was out like a light. He slept peacefully with barely a peep until 8AM this morning.

Tonight, I changed him, put his jammies on and sat with him in a chair in the living room rocking him quietly while David and I watched a show on television with some dim light at a quiet volume. After about 15-20 minutes of nursing, I could tell he was quite sleepy. We got up and I put him in his crib, turned on his music and rubbed his belly. He whimpered a little, but I quietly closed the door. Not even 3 minutes later, his whimpering had stopped and he was fast asleep.

Right now, this is working. Right now, this is what I need to be doing. This morning, after a full nights sleep in his own bed, he seemed so much happier. He took a great nap for the first time since, well, birth. I took a nap with him because, let's face it, I need to catch up on my sleep too. And, David is on Vacation from work, so I might as well take advantage of his being home.

So, here's to hoping that this continues, because I love it so far.