When Your Day At The Portrait Studio Goes Horribly, Horribly Wrong

Last night I took the kids in to Target for pictures. Grayson is now one, and we need to get his first birthday pictures taken. I had them scheduled for the week after his birthday, but Claire got the pukes, so it just didn't happen. I rescheduled for last night.

As I'm rushing out the door, I think, "Oh crap, I'm gonna be late." I put everyone in car seats, and away we go. Oddly enough, we make it with just 5 minutes to spare. I check in and am told, "The other appointment ahead of you is just about finished." OK, I'm in no rush. I need to get the kids checked and cleaned up anyways. I then tell them that I want only pictures of Grayson alone since they are his birthday pictures, and the rest are to be of them together. Then I take off coats. I brush Claire's hair and fix her headband. I feed Grayson snacks. I think, "Wow, this is taking a little long." Why? Because it is. The appointment ahead of me has now gone 5 minutes over my appointment time. And, just to clarify, Target Portraits only schedules a ten minute session during the holiday. My appointment is now a 5 minute session. The door opens, a name is called and the woman behind the counter runs into the room and the door is closed. I feel my stress level rising.

Another 10 minutes pass. Ethan starts to complain that he is hungry. Claire is furiously trying to get me to take her headband out. Grayson has lost all interest in snacks. It is now 15 minutes over my appointment time. I do everything I can to make everyone happy. It isn't working. The door opens, and a family of 5 walks out along with two photographers. I look at my three, and I glance at the clock. My appointment was 20 minutes ago. My stress level rises.

The photographer leads us into the room. She takes out a ball for Grayson. I set Grayson down and the door is closed behind us. Claire picks up the ball, and hands it to Grayson. The photographer picks up her camera, sits on the floor and it begins. Grayson starts to cry. Now, this is usually where the photographer does something to make him laugh. It does not happen. His face turns beet red, and he screams. The photographer sits there, camera in lap, doing nothing. The door opens, and another photographer comes in and sits with the first one. They begin to chat. Grayson is still screaming. Claire looks upset, because whenever Grayson cries, Claire cries out of worry. The photographers carry on their conversations. Grayson lays on his back on the floor and wails. The photographer picks up her camera and starts taking pictures of him, tear streaked and red and saying, "Oh, these are great. Isn't he cute?" Um...No, he's not cute. He's angry, and I am too.

Not even 5 minutes after this mess starts, one of the photographers heads out the door while the other one suggests I hold Grayson in my lap while she takes a photo. I am not keen on this idea because my sweater says CARDINALS is red. She tells me she can focus on the gray. I'm OK with this, so I set him in my lap. He does not stop crying, and she does not focus on the gray. You can see the lettering all over my shirt. The other photographer comes in and says my session is over because they have another appointment waiting. It's has been 6 minutes. I am livid.

They try to get me to order pictures. I refuse. They all look terrible. I am ready to cry. Seriously. When I reach my boiling point, I cry. I am on the brink of my boiling point. They again try to make me order. I again refuse. She puts the worst picture on a Christmas card background and tells me it's cute. I just stare at her. She reschedules my appointment.

I don't know what to do now. If I knew a private photographer who was Target priced affordable had a comfortable studio setting that they could capture natural pictures of my children in, I'd make an appointment. However, I don't, and I have a coupon. So, I'm stuck with Target and the portrait session from hell. Hopefully next time I go in, they have a different photographer.